Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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