You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
