lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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