Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
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I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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