you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
