Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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