before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
