If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
