it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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