I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
