I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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