At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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