she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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