wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
