so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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