Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Are my feet made of real feet?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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