ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
