The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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