I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize