is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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