I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
