I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
