They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
