Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
