they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
