So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
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Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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