perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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