Yo dont text me then not text me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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