You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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