This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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