fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
