do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I AM VODKA MAN
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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