Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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