well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
