How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
