i already hear my dad disowning me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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