I think my vagina is haunted
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize