Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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