Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.