My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day