After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.