That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Moan for me like Helen Keller
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.