so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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