oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am