So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
