I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
