I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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