You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
