just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm really busy with my period
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