We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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