I think my vagina is haunted
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
