Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
