I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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