OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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