Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
