rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
smell my finger.
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so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
be right there i have to get my cape
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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