I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
