don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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