so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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