Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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