Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
