You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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