mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
