arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
