Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
