Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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