So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize