It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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