i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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