now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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