3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
from now on my penis is your penis
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
