You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
