Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
