i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
