This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
