watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
